Dearest family and friends,
I'm not going to lie; this week has been really hard. Sister Leota was really sick this week so we spent all of Tuesday in the flat, we had another day when we weren't able to make it to any of our appointments, we weren't able to follow up with Victoria and Antonio about baptism, I had my first encounter with someone giving us a fake address, and to top it all off, my companion is getting transferred and I'm really nervous about the change. But I guess the Lord breaks us down so that He can build us back up again.
This week at zone meeting, the elders shared the most wonderful video that really helped me to refocus. It's based on talks by Elder Holland and President Eyring. It's about the Atonement and why the mission won't ever be easy. Elder Holland talks about how missionaries will ask why the mission is so hard. We want to know why people aren't flocking to the baptismal font. The message we have is so true, so why aren't people coming? He then says that says that the mission won't be easy because salvation is not easy. The Atonement wasn't easy for Christ, so why should bringing people to salvation be easy for us? There was no other way, no easier way, for the Savior of the world to accomplish His work, so why should we expect our work to be easy? That really hit me. It's not going to be easy, and it's not supposed to be. I may or may not have full on cried (Not any of this tearing up and sniffling business. More of the Les Mis cry.) during our zone meeting. Then our stake president showed the same video in stake conference on Saturday. I guess this is something Heavenly Father really wants me to learn. I've been trying to learn a lot about the Atonement this week and really trying to figure out what it means to rely on the Savior. Because I really, really can't do this on my own.
I've also had an eye opening realization about success. Just before we watched that video at zone conference, I got the strongest feeling that I need to change my perspective. I've been wanting success on the mission so that I can feel successful and so I can feel better about my efforts. But I really should be wanting success because I want my investigators to succeed. I should be wanting success because I care about their progression and their salvation, not because I want a pat on the back and a gold star. I know that sound so selfish and shallow, and maybe that's what I am. But I really want to change. I want to want this for other people. I want to give my mission to the Lord and fully live every day for HIM. This is HIS work and HIS glory. Not mine, not anyone else's. I just always need to remember that.
And I always need to remember Him. I need to always remember how much He has done for me and how much I owe Him. He is the reason I live now and the reason I will live again. It's because of Him that I'm here, and because of Him that I can be saved, and because of Him that I need to work.
I love you all! Always remember that your Father in Heaven and your Savior love you too.xoxo Sister Larsen